WOMENS CONFERENCE

All the women were gathering toward the front of the conference room. I went over to see what the fuss was about. We had just finished with some psychiatrist’s lecture on “Women and Their Bodies.” Must be some kind of free test materials, probably for breast cancer or high blood pressure, I guessed. Finally Laura Smultz’s head emerged through the still bunched-up crowd. She was moving quickly but I caught a glimpse of the box she was hoisting. A free diabetes test kit! He hadn’t even said one word about diabetes during his entire lecture. I was curious. I couldn’t help myself. I went over to the psychiatrist to ask him why he was giving these out. “Oh, it’s just a publicity thing, you don’t have to use it,” he said. Then why even bother with something like that? He replied that it often helped women to remember his name and that he was in practice. What about men? I asked him. Don’t you see any men? There was a pause that, if you ask me, lasted just a tad too long, before he answered in the affirmative. Do you make presentations for men? No. I was starting to have fun with this, trying to think of even more annoying questions I could ask him. Hurry up before this quack gets away, I said to myself. Nobody’s even paying attention. At last I thought of something: Where did you get your PhD? The psychiatrist glared briefly at me, checked his watch, and said, It’s on my website. Now look, ma’am, I’ve really got to go.