A LOT OF GOALS

I have a lot of goals in my life. These are things that I desperately want to do before I die. They include: writing a historical fiction novel, having a girlfriend that dyes her hair blue, climbing a mountain, achieving normal blood sugar levels, getting drunk with Samuel L. Jackson, living for a year in Tokyo, living for another year in Dublin, typing myself how to type properly with all ten fingers instead of slowly using 4, and playing on a softball team. Yeah, I know that that last one’s pretty lame. But I was never any good at sports when I was younger and I only started working out when I was 23. I’m in really good shape now and everyone I used to know back in high school and college who were on all the sports teams have gotten hideously out of shape. I can now outrun them all, lift more weight, and don’t get winded after walking down the block to mail a letter. So I want to be on a softball team to get my chance to be the big man the star athlete. I haven’t played much softball, but I figure I can pick it up really quickly.